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the girl next door  Cheryl Low ' Eighteen. ' Clarinetist. ' NYJCian ' 08th Nov '91 --- I love the life of performing arts alot and my life is all about Family and Friends --- please remember to tagg! (: |
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Monday, November 30, 2009
A levels is finally over! :)so its time to c-e-l-e-b-r-a-t-e!
dont ask me for reviews about A lvls, i said quite a few already -.-
closed down my blog for quite some time
and its finally back from hiatus! :)
so juniors! start flooding!
currently, there are many things to look forward to.
like going out with the class clique,
meeting veron and naz to fulfill our promise!
meeting juniors for our yearly promise!! (NEW MOON!)
band dinner!
wasnt expecting myself to attend band dinner this year for some reasons.
but i'm glad that i decided to go in the end.
perhaps its a good thing that i took the initiative to clear things up with xy this time.
so many reasons that propelled me to do so.
and when i saw her today, i didnt have the courage to pass her the letter.
in the end, thanks farhan and eligah for making this possible.
i saw her sincerity. that's why.
and perhaps its because of the dream that i had, of carline.
thats reminds me about the regrets.
and perhaps its because of all the letters that xy and i shared, that makes this bond unbreakable.
its time for me to stop being so particular about how people looks at me.
i treasure all my friendships. every single one.
i dont want to forgo one because of misunderstandings and lack of communications.
but i need to hear her part of the story soon.
just like what farhan said, 'its possible if we make it possible'
its true.
MNG is going overseas soon!
take care there and come back soon (: (though i'm overseas then -.-)
till then, seeya!
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
i wish i am the only audience
me, alone.
i dont remember me really telling anyone in great details
this picture that i have in my mind.
especially in moments like this
or when i'm walking in the dark along the pathway
to lorong chuan mrt station after night study.
those times when i yearn to lead a different life
to be a different me.
other than books, i want a life.
i want to be in a different country
leading a life that money and education are the last thing on my mind.
i wish to have sometime alone
where even friends seems redundant
i wish to be seated in a concert hall.
witnessing something ranging from silence to great magnificence.
what's on stage doesnt matter
i just need to be the only audience
in the dark
Saturday, August 15, 2009
sharlyn! thanks for the message (:for remembering me, the last person you thought of before you sleep (:
i'm really happy for you and yes, you've graduated (:
hope we dont lose contact alright? :D
its nice going off to pq's house (:
ah..save my brain juices..
Friday, July 31, 2009
i'm trying to pick myself upand trying to keep myself sane in the midst of my insanity.
somethings are just not meant to be said
and i regretted telling.
somethings i wanted to say,
but just cant find the exact vocabulary.
somethings i wish i could hear,
but you just refused to tell me.
somethings i wish i didnt hear,
you told me straight in my face.
somethings i've been trying to prove,
you dismissed it.
somethings i've been trying to build,
you crushed it and bring it right down.
somethings i'm trying not to see,
you did it right in front of me.
i'm determined.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
i thought i can treat it as though nothing has happenedand i almost succeeded.
in acting as though me, failing physics is nothing
as though i can handle it.
till that very sentence that came out from you
i know maybe you are trying to console me
but sometimes i cant help but think,
maybe i dont really know you.
i'm trying hard to accept you as a friend
but, you've disappointed me so many times.
i feel bad telling others about you
but i only do that when i really cant cant CANT take it any longer
you may call it bad-mouthing or whatever
but i'm just venting it out
no matter if you believe it or not.
i failed my physics
PHYSICS
the subject that i prided myself in
till now, i still cant let this fact sink into my head
maybe i will not and cannot believe this fact,
till next monday, when i finally got back my paper
perhaps its till that very moment, will i accept the fact.
my parents were great, really great.
and i'm happy and relieved that they are the first person who came into my mind
when the tears start to roll down.
i feel like calling them and hugging them
telling them that i've once disappointed them again.
on the way home on the bus, i smsed my mum
crying on the bus like a baby.
i'm not afraid of strangers glares
i just need a nod, a hug, a kiss from my mummy and daddy
and i'm sure i'll have the faith to carry on this long and tedious journey.
i can ask for nothing more from them
and i just wish that i do not disappoint them during the collection of results
i think they deserve much more from me
i know they are disappointed.
i mean, how can they not?
even i'm utterly disppointed with myself.
peiqi, anna, aurina were with me during that break
peiqi, especially, always seems to appear during the times when i'm sad.
and everytime i see her, i feel that i just want to let it out in front of her.
that bunch of secondary friends i have now (:
they make me smile.
i never did talk to anna and aurina that much before i enter nyjc
eventhough i've known aurina for 5 years plus
and anna for 3 years plus
but i'm glad that i did now (:
my classmates were great too (:
shirley for singing that harry potter song which makes me laugh
and valerie for cracking jokes
ibu to pat me on my back
amy to be there
angeline who talked to me
they are all nice people who tried to cheer me up
with the little acts
though small, but significant.
people like shuyi and danhui saw me in my tears
and walked towards and console.
their words of encouragements meant great too (:
thanks shuyi for your smses (:
it really helped me alot, and i mean it
i'll eat more smarties like what you said (:
that sentence made me smile
i'll buy the smarties tomorrow (:
you both are wonderful juniors of mine (:
also people like mng who had been there since donkey years ago
my bad for not telling that i broke down
but deep down i know that mng will always be there (:
as i'm typing this,
i feel blessed,fortunate.
and i'm determined to pull up my grades.
watch me.
Sunday, July 05, 2009
its been a long time ever since i'm bloggingcause i cant seem to put whatever i'm thinking into words =.=
my limited vocabulary.
everything's fine for now
except for my atrocious MYE results which i know i'll be getting
three more papers left.
and two more major exams to go
i wonder if i can really make it in the end.
but its no time for me to doubt
and the least/worst person that i can ever doubt is myself.
i choose to hold on
to believe in faith
in the faith that i will do well.
easier said than done though
cause there are always many hiccups along the way
'external factors' like double-faced 'friends'
i wonder why i always allow myself to be upset over those stuffs
and i guess this isnt the first or the last time i'm saying this.
but i'm improving (:
no matter what kind of person my 'friends' are
i choose to believe in what they say
perhaps i'm jealous of them, which arises to all the negative thoughts
perhaps they are really true, its just that i'm too narrow-minded.
there's one saying,
' as long as you are true to others, others will be true to you'
i know many of you guys might sneer/laugh/mock at this
cause we've been through so many experience to know that this
sentence is just TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.
but i guess, no harm HOPING for it to come true right?
and i believe that there are true friends out there for me too (:
whats with the optimism?
i'm feeling paradoxical
Sunday, May 31, 2009
heys,here to update once again :)i guess i seriously need to think/have some motivations
so that i can study better and not be sooo distracted.
any ideas from you guys?
anyway,
i wont be coming here to blog too often
cause i think i've been lacking things to update about.
and juniors! got anything, can talk to me through those usual ways :)
emails and smses! :)
i hope everything is fine for you guys
and thanks for those who were concerned for me :)
i hope the very best for you too :)
CIAOS :)